Leyton Orient 1 AFC Wimbledon 1, 28/10/15

Two of Hendon's substitutes against Wimbledon

A game in which... Orient went 1-0 up and then Ian Hendon substituted off the whole team and replaced them with 11 local bricklayers with the specific task of swiftly walling up the goal. I'm joking, of course: Ian Hendon's substitutions actually made even less sense than that and the fact that the manager was so ready to batten down the hatches at home against an average AFC Wimbledon side – even before we went down to 10 men – shows either a total lack of ambition or total lack of tactical nous. I'm opting for both. 

Jump off your seat moment... The moment a West Stand fan quite literally did jump off his seat at the final whistle and throw a bit of run-of-the-mill, seen-it-a-thousand-times-at-a-football-match abuse at Ian Hendon. And what did the manager do? Think to himself that since fans pay their money, they're entitled to their opinion? Consider that though he disagreed with the sentiment he was a professional and should not respond? No, Ian Hendon actually came tearing back to the touchline shouting "You talking to me?" like a deranged coke-head who's seen Taxi Driver 4,328 times. He then suggested the fan come back to the dressing room and say it to his face, despite the fact the fan was already saying it to his face. Next week: Hendon puts the club chef's head in a vice as a Joe-Pesci-in-Casino-inspired lesson for serving slightly lukewarm tomato soup. 

Give that man a medal... Imagine where Orient would be without Jay Simpson? That's right, in the Guinness Book of Records for being the only club in world football history to have gotten 20 games into a season without scoring a single goal. The striker is the sole reason that Ian Hendon is able to brush aside the deep chasms of concern about Orient's on-field performances, point at the league table and blithely state "We're still in touching distance of the play-offs." 

Taxi for... Ian Hendon. Sometimes this season his tactical decision-making has been baffling, sometimes it's been bewildering, but today it was just batshit mental. Ironically, it seemed that the manager had accidentally stumbled across a central defensive partnership that was actually holding firm in loanees Cole Kpekawa and the impressive Jean-Yves M'Voto. But then, with a one-goal lead and 35 minutes to go he elected to go 5-3-2 and bring on Mathieu Baudry wearing a sign around his neck that stated: "Hey, Wimbledon, I know you haven't had a single shot on target yet but why not just attack us for the rest of the game and see if you can do any better." 

In the dug out... Have I mentioned Ian Hendon's performance today? Well, the delights don't end there, for once Orient went down to 10 men the manager felt the best policy was to sit eight players in front of Alex Cisak and then hoof the ball long to a lone target man in the hope of hitting Wimbledon on the break. So naturally the lone target man he chose was winger Blair Turgott, who is well known for his heading, strength and ability to hold the ball up. This tactical ruse precipitated such relentless Wimbledon attacks that at one point their goalkeeper Ben Wilson was able to sweep up the ball in Orient's half! 

Meanwhile on Twitter... "The problem with Ian Hendon being 'one of our own'" wrote fan Laurie Hann as he hit a nail on the head with a hammer, "is that we are consistently shit." 

FA Cup: Leyton Orient 6 Staines Town 1, 7/11/15

A game in which... Orient and Ian Hendon proved a point. The point was that if we're playing in the Ryman Premier League in the 2018/19 season we'll probably fare reasonably well. Just kidding, no one can complain about a 6-1 victory, but I'm not sure it tells us much about the Os' prospects for the rest of the league season. As for the opposition, I'm contractually obliged to make a reference to Ali G, so let's just say big up the Staines massive for their commitment to playing attractive, passing football, despite the scoreline.

Jump off your seat moment... Now, we all know Dean Cox likes to be the big fish in a little pond, but today he must have felt like a humpback whale in a puddle such was the ease in which he slotted his 30-yard free kick into the top corner of Staines' goal.

Give that man a medal... Today saw a blistering substitute performance from Scott Kashket and proof twice over that – contrary to recent evidence – Ollie Palmer is not biologically incapable of placing a ball into an empty net. But man of the match has to be Frazer Shaw, who was faultless in defence, penetrating in attack and set up two of the goals. What a way to mark his return to the starting XI.

Taxi for... Lloyd James. What a way not to mark his return to the starting XI: he misfired passes, repeatedly got caught in possession and missed one chance that was such a sitter it was actually delivered to him via Furniture Village.

In the dug out... Was Ian Hendon resting first choice players or were these his new first choice players? Has the diamond been ditched for good or was 4-4-2 simply the order of the day against Staines? Would James and Payne really play together in central midfield in a league match? No one knows the answer to these questions, least of all Ian Hendon.

Meanwhile on Twitter... Not only is Orient president Francesco Becchetti wanted by the Albanian authorities for fraud and money-laundering, but he's also under curfew until a hearing on 7 December. It's not all bad news though, because fan Fred Nathan has some friendly advice: "If I was him, I'd negotiate so he could be locked in his house at 3pm most Saturdays."

Leyton Orient 0 Accrington Stanley 1, 31/10/15

A game in which... the entire Orient team scooped out their own brains with a spoon and placed candles inside their empty skulls in an apparent attempt to give Accrington a Halloween scare. It didn't work: the visitors needed no tricks and treated themselves to the easiest three points they're likely to get all season.

With ghastly defending, horrific attacking and an eerie absence of tactics, this was a bloodcurdling performance from Ian Hendon's team. Yes, the league table says we're still in the play-off places, but 11 points in the last 11 games paints a truer picture of the scale of our gruesome predicament.

Jump off your seat moment... Orient had one clear-cut chance in the entire game. One. Tragically that chance fell to Connor Essam, who would likely not score a goal were he to play football infinitely in a time-space continuum. Now, I'm not saying Essam has a head like a 50p piece, because that would be a hideous slur on a 50p piece, which can theoretically only spin a ball off in one of seven random directions. But there really is little point in the defender coming up for corners if – like today – he can't convert into an open net from two yards.

Essam and Baudry 

Give that man a medal... Dean Cox had to spend only another pointless 30 minutes or so on Ian Hendon's naughty step before the manager introduced him to the pitch, albeit bizarrely in place of the one player – John Marquis – who'd looked vaguely effective in the opening salvos of the game. And, God knows, once there the winger tried his little heart out, but must have felt like he'd arrived late at a Halloween party at which all his friends were taking their zombie costumes a bit too literally.

Taxi for... "Bradley Pritchard is a central midfielder and that's where he'll play," lied Ian Hendon at the start of the season before repeatedly sticking the former Charlton man out on the right where – as numerous former Orient managers have discovered and yet bizarrely ignored – he is utterly ineffective. The gaffer has now tried 4,567 different formations in his 18 games in charge, all of which contain both Pritchard and his footballing doppelgänger Sammy Moore in one guise or another. Unless Hendon knows of some ancient curse that says the hounds of hell will be unleashed on Brisbane Road should the pair ever be separated, it might be an idea to try dropping one of them.

In the dug out... Now, I am not suggesting that Ian Hendon should be sacked. (Though Becchetti pulled the trigger on Russell Slade for a run of results far less damaging than the current one.) But it would be helpful if the manager could give fans the slightest sense that he actually knows what he's doing rather than reverting to Liverani-esque behaviour such as inexplicably dropping star performers; publicly blaming his players in post-match press conferences; and double training sessions. What next: "Big house in the box"? The return of Gianvito Plasmati?

Meanwhile on Facebook... It's half-time and you're enjoying a Brisbane Road burger (ok, stay with me on this, you're going to have to use a bit of imagination). You need a little sit down, and where better to do it than the opposition dug out, as the fan in this video proves. Minutes later a pair of ever-vigilant stewards intervene, although should the interloper have chosen the home dug out they probably wouldn't have bothered. Tactically he may have done a better job than Ian Hendon in the second half...